Misantroop

Did You forget to take your meds?

"Urbaniseerunud poeet -

mõni ütleb filosoof.

Ideaalis äkki elurõõmus misantroop.

Istun ja vaatan, et mu sõnad siin paberil

on kui noodid, mida  mänginud olen enda eluklaveril.

Kontrollimata pedaale,

lasknud gaasil põhja minna.

Elu ise on mind kandnud siia inglitelinna."

There's been a lot on my mind lately. Well, there has always  been too many thoughts on my mind, I'm used to it. I'm used to overthinking. But this time it's different. These thoughts are heavier than the usual ones. These ones are too heavy for me too carry.
As I'm walking down the school corridor I can feel another of these thoughts pop up. This thought is too heavy for me too carry and my injured knee shatters under the pressure. I lost my balanced and bashed my head onto the floor. My head cracked the cold stone plate, but the plate fractured my skull in return. Passers by were looking at me, being terrified by the sight: the floor was full of blood and tiny brain bits. Somehow I could still stay ironic and grin at how funny my skull sounds when it cracks. Then I passed out, I fell into a dream-like state. I saw my life; all of it - the past, present and future. I thinked to myself: "Was it all worth it?"
And that's when I finally died. I couldn't survive a crash like this. I ran out of blood, my brain was blown to smithereens and there were pieces of my brain all over the floor.
I died... thanks to my overthinking..


Yeah, I know.. It sounds pretty raw... My english ain't that good. But I don't really care.

My heads in a mess.

And I'm stressed.

But I guess it's a test in the quest of happiness

and the rest of that mess.